Monday, June 29, 2009

A Day that Deserves 2 Paws Up

Hello readers. You may have heard about me from time to time on this blog. I'm the 3rd wheel in this family. My name is Niko Harper Svezia and I feel it is about time I made my voice heard here. I would like to share with you a story from Friday, a day that may go down as the best I've ever had.

I must first state how difficult it has been living with only this clown of a father I have ever since my mom left. He was telling me something about how she is in some foreign country and she'll be back or something like that. It's ruff for me to understand him because I don't really speak English very well. In fact, just making this blog post is difficult for me because of limited grasp of the language, very minimal computer knowledge, and almost non-existent typing skills (I lack fingers). But I digress. I really do miss my momma and I hope she comes back sometime because this joker is driving me crazy and I love her, mainly because she lets me sleep in and not wake up at 8:00 (It's summer for crying out loud, sleep in!)

I've heard about this blog thing and at first I wasn't a fan. Mainly because when my mom said, "I have blog" I thought she said, "I have a dog." My mind immediately went into revenge mode, and I was going to make the Elvis revenge seem like small potatoes but I quickly figured out what she was talking about. I've read some of the posts from time to time and they were much better when my mom was in charge (What is the deal with those pictures he edited? He's such a rookie!) Anyway, I thought that I would make a blog post about the best thing to happen while my mom has been gone. Actually, it's the only thing I've liked other then seeing my grandma and grandpa Svezia, my Aunt Emily (Dad calls here Auntie Em. Real clever, I bet no one has ever thought of that before) and some guy called "Nuts" who is dad's Godfather or something like that. I thought he would be more like the guy from the movie called "Godfather" but he definitely didn't live up to that.

So mom and dad usually take me for a spin in the car from time to time. They usually say, "You wanna go bye-bye" like I'm a little baby. They must forget that I'm 28 years old, which is older than both of them. I really enjoy going on these excursions because it gets me some fresh air and I can cruise for chicks. Here is a picture of me checkin things out. Notice the green Polo mom made me wear. Yeah, like I need that. The ladies adore me! I must get it from my dad.

So we usually take a spin so they can get something to eat or something like that and I usually get bored if there aren't any babes to scope and I can't wait to get back home. But there is this one place we go and it rocks! It's some place called "DQ" or something like that. These humans have to have initials for like all their food places: DQ, KFC, BK, McD's. Why do they spend so much time and money naming these dumps just reduce the name to a couple of letters? Anyway, I love DQ because they give me my own treat! Even though I'm not really good at knowing where I'm at (can't read, limited mental capacity) I always know when I'm at DQ and I'll be getting a treat. I get super excited as soon as we get to the talking box and I can't wait to get my treat. I mean, I'm almost completely out of the window! I love it because it's better than the crap food they feed me: Kangaroo Meat (something about an allergy I have, I think they're cheapskates). When we go to this Hardee's place, I know I won't be getting a treat and I don't even waste my time hanging out the window. As soon as I get that DQ treat I devour it in just minutes. Ah, it is soo heavenly!

So dad takes me on Friday and they give me a treat and I mow through it like I'll never get another one, because I may not due to these tough economic times. I don't know what that means, but I hear it on the news all the time and I figured I'd give this blog some political/economic insight for once. So we go back home and I'm trying to figure out a way to trick dad into leaving his food unattended. This one time when he was eating in the living room I pawed on the door and he got up to take me outside and when he did I ran into the living room and stole a piece of pizza. He's so gullible! So he's getting ready to eat, and guess what he has!?!?! Another treat from DQ!!!!!!! A 2-fer!!!!! I was so excited I couldn't eat it immediately! I ran around and played with it for like 10 minutes! Best day ever!!! I'll tell you something about DQ, they treat you right. Wow, that's pretty catchy! I'm so creative.

Oh, I can edit pictures too. Here is a picture of mom and dad with a nice sepia tone to it. Enjoy!

Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you have dogs, please tell them that I would like to sniff their butts. Actually, only the ladies, I probably hate your male dog, I hate most dogs, except for the ladies. Actually, only the cute ladies, I do have standards. Bye now.


Suzie said...

bwahahahaha! Aww, Niko, you're the best! Oooh, Bunny can be your girlfriend!

BigBlueHouse270 said...

New to blogging but we enjoy yours! Glad we're not the only ones who treat our dog better than most people treat their children!

J said...

Niko, im glad dad is keeping you entertained while your mommy is gone. wish you the best in tricking dad out of his food. your pic is just adorable.

Dave you are to funny love your blogs keep them coming.

Michael said...

LOL...Niko, you rock!


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